'Cause GOD it feels so good.

-I'm in the business of misery, let's take it from the top.
Dying has never felt so good.
-If you could, then you know you would.
-Because GOD it just feels so good.

I'm honestly so sick of trying.
This downfall is so welcome.
It scares me, but not enough.

Every dot com's refreshing for a journal update.
Tell me what you're feeling. Tell me you're okay.
You're starting to scare me.
Almost as much as I scare myself.
I'm watching your dreams come true.
And none of them involving me.
Silly girl, you're invisible.
Silly girl, you're invisible.
Silly stupid fucking girl, you're INVISIBLE.
You don't fucking exist, you never fucking will.
You're a ghost.
I'm a ghost.
But I'm your ghost.
You're my opposite.
So sick of staring at beauty.
Two seconds away from ripping the pictures off my walls.
Brb, shedding my skin.

Walls once so beautiful now bare and broken.

-Doctor, doctor.
Is it serious?
-I'm afraid it is.
-Am I gonna die?
-Well...

Can't stand how blank this wall looks now.
Wonder if I'll ever grow out of this phase.
It's all in my head. Let's get it out.
Who will be next to grace these walls?
Is it all a lie?
Hold your head high, heavy heart.
Please, please hold your head high.
Take a chance, it's the last you'll even get.
Please, please hold your head high.
Please, please hold your heart high.
When you're drowning what will you keep above water, head or heart?
Let's not be suicidal tonight, shall we?
Wish I wasn't so sick. Wish I never discovered this cabinet of poison. Or any of the others I've found in my life. I guess everyone does at one point or another. It all depends how much you drink, this stuff is addictive.

I miss you.
I wonder if your words are better than his.
Or anyone else who came before you, for that matter.
I just want to see you.
And I guess it just hit me that so many people feel you every day.
But I'm not one of them...
I want to be. I want to be, so bad.
What are you doing right now?
I hope you're sleeping. I'm sick of getting sleep for both of us, baby.
You need to chip in your fair share.

Goodnight, invisible moon and stars.
Sleep on a pillow of clouds tonight.

Xo.