Little Did I Know

My life has absolutely been a whirlwind since April. I can't even begin to describe how I'm feeling or how much of a complete transformation I have made since my last post. Let me try to explain what has happened in as few words as possible.

Shortly after getting the van, everything began to go wrong on it. The brakes, the battery, the starter, the transmission. While this was going on, my mom and I were fighting, as always. I don't remember exactly what started it or why, but I packed everything into my van and left after one of our big fights. Aly 2.0. In the world, alone. No longer a dependant. No job, no money. Scary, isn't it? It gets better.

The van didn't make it all the way to my sister's house. We did get it towed there, however, and my sister and her husband were gracious enough to let me stay with them. I took their car to pick up a few more of my things from my mom's house. I left only furniture. I've been back one more time since then, briefly. My uncle offered to let me stay with him when my sister couldn't let me crash on her couch anymore, and there I was. In Austin. Still no job, no money, no van.

He took me out job hunting and what did I do? Got a teaching position. That's right. I'm a teacher. I teach two's. Now, back up a little bit - my uncle was in the Big Brother, Big Sister program about twenty years ago, and his "little brother" is a redneck, ex-marine, alcoholic in his mid-twenties. I lived with this man for a little over a month. It was very much a last resort, but I had nowhere else to go and nothing to lose. My van eventually made it to Austin. So did my furniture.

After the roommate started threatening me - and lying about it - I booked it out of there and moved in with a roommate and her husband. I was comfortable. I had a home. For the first time in months, I had a home. For about a week. Their landlord found out and I was given three days' notice to get out. Oh, life.

Where am I now? Well, I'm between again. Saving up for an apartment on my own and living with another co-worker in the ghetto. And, yes, it is the ghetto. There are hookers on the street in front of our door and no one seems to speak decent English. But.

I AM ALIVE.

I am alive, and more than that, I'm living. I am a teacher, I have four pets (I bought two hermit crabs yesterday on a whim, 'cause that's how I roll), and I am going to be okay.

Life can throw anything it wants at me but the bottom line is I am going to be okay.

I guess I decided to go ahead and start blogging again, maybe, if I can keep up with it now. My laptop's broken and my phone isn't the best for typing. Oh yeah, I have an iPhone 4 (and two hermit crabs but no place to live. PRIORITIES!) so I guess a lot has changed since the last time I posted. I guess a lot... has changed.


1/365

And so it begins.

Let me introduce myself.

My name's Aly. I'm 19 years old. I was born in Modesto, California, on December 31st, 1990. My dad was a workaholic and the son of two alcoholic parents. My mother was clinically depressed. I'm really nothing out of the ordinary. I've had a pretty normal life with pretty normal influences. I've never been abused or raped, I'm not on any medication for surpressed childhood guilt. But I want to travel the country in a hippie bus.

I didn't consider blogging about this at first, but as it becomes more of a reality, I'm starting to realize that maybe I could do something great.

So! Super quick background? I lived in Texas until age 6, in Arkansas from then until 15, and I've been in Texas again since then. My parents are divorced. I graduated high school in May of '09 and have been living with my mom since then. I've never really had a real job, unless babysitting the same kids I've been babysitting since I was sixteen counts as a job. It's April of '10 now.

This beauty is what I'm looking at tomorrow. After some spray paint and TLC, I'm sure this '89 bus will be beautiful. If it all works out, that is. I have $1,400 and that's exactly how much it costs. I'm spending every penny in my name on this.

I can check one more thing off of my list if tomorrow goes well.

The Checklist:

• the bus
  
• a plan
  
• a map
• a name for the bus (because all buses should have a rad name)
• at least $500 saved up
• a Sprint internet card for my laptop (since I have no cell phone)
• a motto (all great journeys have one, right?)
• registration for the bus
• inspection for the bus
• insurance for the bus
• a travel blog
• spray paint/enough paint to make the bus look pretty

I'm sure there will be more to come.

I spent New Years in Arkansas and I learned a lot of things, some things I hope I never forget. First of all, I think I got to know my brother for the first time. He has flaws just like anyone else does, but he is one of the most amazing people I think I have ever met. He has so many stories to tell (which may or may not be exaggerated), he is a lot like me, and he doesn't doubt anything that he believes in, which is both a good thing and a bad thing at once.

My cousins have all grown up so much, I'm starting to realize that they are - that I am - becoming adults. I know in a few years, we will have kids, spouses, stories to tell, differences in opinion to argue over. "Hey, remember that Christmas in Arkansas when we lit up in the gazebo?" It really just blows my mind. I feel like the whole thing was a dream, in a way, and it was amazing. It didn't feel like three days.

All the other holidays and family reunions, I think we've never had a chance to grow close. Or maybe I was just too young to embrace it. I didn't understand so much.

Matt said something to me about our sister that I think really blew my mind. I'm paraphrasing here, but: "Kristen is perfect. She's what every father wants for their daughter. She had a 4.0 grade average, graduated with honors from Texas Tech, got married to a Christian man, had two kids. Boom, book closed. You can't beat that."

And he's right. I can't and I won't. Kristen could die right now and she'd still be better than I could ever be. I also learned something else that I think has greatly put my life into perspective. Matt and Kristen's mom was "the one". My dad didn't want my mom. My mom was the rebound. She told him she was on birth control when she wasn't, and I was the result.

Things are so much different now that I have an outside perspective on my own life.

Just a song that made me cry today. So touching.