I need to blog a lot today.
Because I'm watching myself change.
Going through old videos and chat logs... Stories I wrote in 2004 and pictures I took long before that...
And I hate it.
I don't know why I hate remembering who I was.
Maybe I feel like I'll want to go back.
Realize who I was is better than who I am and notice that I hate what I've become.
And I've become what I hate.
Things change so quick for me, I'm not sure if I can keep this up.
And then there's Marie.
What makes her special? I don't know.
She lied. Fake pictures, false stories, and I don't even know if Marie was her real name.
But then I lied too. Before I even knew she was lying.
Like, somehow, my subconscious picked up on her lies even when I couldn't do it knowingly.
And the shit I lied about was so ridiculous and out there, there's no way in hell she believed any of it.
So what makes her special? I don't know.
We met on January 15th, 2007.
We last spoke on June 10th, 2007.
That's 147 days that we knew each other. Roughly five months.
I've had friends for years. I've got new friends that treat me better than Marie ever did.
So what makes her special?
What makes her special?
It's been 181 days since we last spoke.
And in 38 days... A little over a month... It will be exactly one year since we met.
Misery loves company and sorrow is just all the rage.
So heat me up, keep me a little less cold.
I'll probably add onto this blog later. My head's too much of a mess for me to get it all out right now.
