Singing songs that could only catch the ear of the desperate.
Yes, it's been two whole fucking days since my last post.
It just took me like ten minutes to write that line, so hectic.
And then another five to write this one.
Writing blogs is always so slow for me.
So, Saturday night, I stayed with my sister. And most of Sunday, too.
Dancing to Gym Class Heroes and walking the dog. Fiber optic Christmas tree. Orange juice at 10PM. Up until 1 on meebo, wishing I had AIM. Sleep on the couch. Up at 7AM. Orange juice, oatmeal, and toast. Church (yeah, I know). Fell asleep in the church library, listening to TAI. Back home for burgers and Phase 10. Wendy's for dinner, then a concert and back home.
Maybe not the most interesting thing ever.
Laughing at other people's pain.
Does it make you feel good to not care who you hurt?
This is selfish of me, I know it.
And it's NOT your fault when someone falls for you.
But to laugh when you break their hearts, that's a little harsh, babe.
Just a little.
But you never made promises not to, did you?
You say 'don't blame me' like it matters who's to blame.
Sure, it's their faults but who the fuck are you to point that out?
Oh, that's right.
You're a LEGEND. Excuse me.
But hey, maybe that's what you want.
Maybe you want THIS to get under my skin.
Maybe you don't think things through.
But maybe you do.
I'm guessing it's one of two things.
Either a hit-or-miss or you know just how the smart ones will react.
And either way, you're all too clever, all too clever.
See, you can only imagine how much this hurts me.
Those times when you just want to slip your hands into handcuffs and put a plastic bag over your head. That's how I feel, like the metal digging into your bones and the plastic creeping into your lungs.
But I'm guessing life isn't all it's cracked up to be,
while scientists and psychologists wonder why your teenage years are the hardest.
Well I've got the answer right here,
the answer is
like most other questions.
Stop lying to your babies.
Stop stop lying.
Tooth fairy, Easter bunny, 'you'll grow into your looks, baby girl', 'you'll meet the one of your dreams', 'personality is all that counts', 'you won't be sick forever, it's only in your head'.
Life isn't about happiness, don't fucking tell them that.
Sex isn't some forbidden vow, why would you put that in their pretty little heads?
I just want to protect everyone.
They may be someone's baby...
But if they've ever been lied to, I want to tell them the truth about life so they can get a head start on being depressed about it.
This is why everything is so hard when you're just realizing how shitty life is.
Just don't give them misconceptions, let them know what life is all about so it doesn't overwhelm them.
You think they cried when you gave them the truth about Santa Claus... Wait until they see what else is up your sleeve.
These are just my thoughts.
They don't always work out.
But my mind is in a state of comatose.
Maybe I'm just like you, maybe everyone is.
But you think whatever you want, you're not as special as you pretend to be, I can't fool myself forever.
