We Set Ourselves Up.

So often in life, we set ourselves up. We set ourselves up for failure, for success, for disappointment, for happiness. Whatever the case may be, we set ourselves up. Not someone else, but ourselves. What we do in our life, what others do to us, with us, for us, has about 10% to do with our overall happiness. How we choose to react is the bigger picture. A man can have all the money in the world, the biggest house, the prettiest wife, the most talented and wonderful children, but if he tells himself that he is not successful until he owns his own country, he will still never be happy. Just the same, a man can live in a two-bedroom fixer-upper with no wife and just one child to raise and if he tells himself that as long as he can make that child happy, his life is complete, then he will be successful.

I thought about this as I started to think about Christmas. So often, I set myself up for disappointment, and that may be what I'm doing now. I want to have enough money to buy everyone on my list a Christmas present, as well as buy myself a laptop. A good laptop. I may be a bit over-the-top here, but I am setting myself up, because I want to know I can do it. I also want a car for Christmas. See, my dad got me a broken-down hunk of junk that I was so excited about owning. That is, until I got into an accident and totaled it. He's been talking about getting me a new car, and I'm going to see him for Christmas, so WHO KNOWS? It's a definite possibility.

And, to be honest, I don't deserve a new car. I was reckless with the first one - granted, I've learned my lesson tenfold - but somehow I feel like the cosmos can work with me or against me on this one. I am always trying to be the best version of myself. I feel like that should get me places, and a lot of the time it doesn't. Maybe it's a silly, selfish notion. I'll be the first to admit that. Innocent, wonderful people die every day. I don't deserve anything. But I'd like to think that if there's any bit of luck in my fingertips this year, things will be okay.