I am the dreamer, you are the dream.

Sitting in this room, in the dark, I'm nauseated by the way she makes me feel.
I can't be myself around her, and the worst part is - it's not her fault. She doesn't tell me not to be myself. But she forces this on me.
If I do something wrong, that look of disapproval burns me down until I'm exactly what she wants, and I think she likes that. I think she comforts herself on thinking I choose to be a good girl for her, but she's wrong. She makes me this way. Let me be myself.

Do you know what my/your mind can do to you/me?
Nausea, dizziness, sore throat, leaking eyes, shaking legs, blurred vision, eyes roll back, knees buckle, lips tremble, fingers twitch, crimson river drenches my lips and chin.
I'm not sick. Sick in the head, maybe. Fix me?

Do you know what your mind can do to me?
I need you to give me everything/nothing. Talk to/ignore me. Love/hate me. I love how your hair looks like shit and when you don't give a fuck and how you never really smile.

Fuck smiles.
Fuck happiness.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck just to say you did.
Fuck because you want it.
Or need it.
Fuck because you don't care.
Fuck 'because's.
Because I don't care.
Whenever.
Wherever.

Whatever.

These walls are caving in, baby, and it's burning a hole in me. I can't see a thing. One more thought of you and I swear to god I'm going to spill my guts. It's going to be rainbows drenched solid and liquid candy from here on out. But you WILL be the last thing I think about tonight and I want you to know. You will be the only substance to my dreamless sleep(less night).

I promise.